Thursday, September 29, 2011

i was thinking

Hi, Mommy.

...I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few

weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise.

Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got

beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I

will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me

your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we

have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to

be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't

wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was

perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I

will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I

know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about

me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that

you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called

wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand

yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did

something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and

your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad

for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It

doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,

and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I

do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I

don't like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and

you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes,

and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most

beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm

happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait

and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will

make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your

hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love

you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting

funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't

know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry,

Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to

protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good

person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want

us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or

touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I

still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when

you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug

me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do

that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going

somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a

hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell

you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't

know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think

something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared,

Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love


Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It

feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They

told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you

get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something

wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why

don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want

to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care

about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say

you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and

see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I

want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did

something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you’re against abortion, reblog.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

weekly sheila

halao peeps..sibuk gile this last two weeks bcoz assignment dtg mcm banjir musim tengkujuh and my final project harus di selesaikan utk proses adjusting..oke we start from study dlu lah ehh...okey for this week jek i need to settle down my project which is utk subject organising a project director i need to handle this event..lah sumenye di ats bahu sy skang -_-''..for magazine tugas as a advertising manager harus memastikan bahawa iklan dlm magazine i sudah di terima ...and for feature writing need to write more news br hari tu submit utk penilaian utk column dlm mingguan wanita..what more eh?owh comm plak peranan as a photography bile kne doing a few photoshoot somewhere..tired gile..advertising oke lg..for ETR plak i need doing do business plan for my company..hah ! ini br skali imbas jek korg dpt..cer duk kat tmpt aq bape kali pnye imbas pn still serabai gak !

fullstop utk study jap..take a breath.
.oke utk aktitviti kolej we just finish our merdeka raya celebration but for this moment let picture give talk oke..

my classmates <3

there u go ! my besties smarties @ superbass

restu itu perlu !

this is not for me..tlg pegang kan ajek

p/s one whole day berbaju kurung sgt2 penat and rimas but makanan die sgt la superb doe !
for more picture visited my fb

Sunday, September 18, 2011

from heart to hand

halao ! okeyh mari kita mulakan cerita baru utk enrty ini..first of all..babe sekalian?u know what?i really thank to god for what happen to me ! how i survive and how i live with all those sick thing ! oke2 stop and stare can u? 16 september 2011 genaplah 1 tahun hearting wif my encik hati !!! oke2 kesalahan yg cuba diperbaiki ade lah ta mahu lg kesilapan lme berulang..ckuplah kehilangan yang sementara itu..ta mampu lg rse nye ! next is too many version about my love story and ianya sgt pelik sbb version itu disampaikan oleh mereka yang ta kenal sy ! owh tape2 sy ta kisah lgsg ! sbb awk ta taw spe sy yg sbenarnye ! welkkk ! here some note to MEH ! u know what ? slalu igt yg awk sbenarnye x ade utk sy tp ntah lah bile sy sedih ! nme awk yg naik kt hp sy ! pelik ta? our lovestory sgt berbeza dgn yg lain smpi sy pn pelik kite ni loving ke?awk ta pernah kisah pn sy maki awk or what awk siap boleh gelak lg*tetibe teringat ayt awk! *sy ni memg jd penyerap maki hamun awk syg *..kesilapan sy awk trima without no doubt ! that's why i said just go with flow let this feeling playing their part ! okey MEH !

p/s MEH is for My Encik Hati !

Monday, September 5, 2011

eid picture

di pagi hari raya bersama nephew

kesucian wajah bersama sanak saudara

my abg yg semangat memanjat pkok untuk pertunjukkan mercun papan

tentera merah bersiap untuk berjuang(main mercun daa)

bersama sanak saudara ketika bersiar di kuantan

nurul afrina batrisya

baiklah nmpk ta sopan tatkala terlihatkan sotong goreng tepung

sista mista

p/s sambutan raya bersama keluarga yang sgt bermakna seperti lahir semula ke dunia..

Hazama - Cinta Teragung ;)